trust

Now usually you hear the story about a girl who's father either wasn't there or treated her horribly, resulting in her developing a trust problem. She finds it hard to trust anyone nor get close to anyone. Especially males, for she fears just like her father, they will walk out on her or mistreat her.

I feel as if I have that same problem, in REVERSE.

Its like, me and my daddy have the most open and loving realationship I think is possible w.out moving the realationship into the disrespect catagory.

So I figure this in turn has allowed me to put my trust in everyone w.out really knowing what I'm getting myself into and later, ending up tremendously HURT. But even after whatever maddness they bring into my life, I continue to trust them until they damn near kill my heart off. And then even so, ill still love them.

So is this a problem?

Yes.

I would never say I'd go back and change me and Daddy's realationship to better my judgement when it comes to trust.

But I do wish I had more (ruth-less-ness) running through my veins
Or
That I'd start meeting a better quality of people.

Either way I really would find it hard to change who I am.

That being said,
I have nothing but love for this world and the people in it :)

Peace.

new

i feel myself evolving into a whole new character.

some say "You should never change yourself for anything" . but i feel if we never change ourselves not one bit for all of our lives, we will never grow. we will just be stuck. Stuck on bad habits, even stuck on good ones, and even that becomes boring. you should want to develop new good habits and experience new joys. go on different adventures. not just the same ol ones. 

This is not on that whole "I'm acting brand new" tip. I'm not going to start changing my attitude to " eff the world, I'm just on this earth to please me" its more of, i must never put anyone in priority over myself. i must not do things that make me cry behind closed doors, just to see another face smile. i must not set aside things that i take a liking to, just because it isn't enjoyed by others. 

At the moment i am at total peace w. myself mind body and spirit wise. and i plan on keeping it that way. I must eliminate anything that isn't beautiful nor brings me joy. Bad energy is so powerful that it could kill. 

i gotta live people. I gotta live.